yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
