So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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