When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
