i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
