well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
