You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
