Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
