you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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