That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
