It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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