My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
