guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
