the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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