I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
