all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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