She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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