I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
