Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
