Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
