Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
wow bdsm is so cute
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
