She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
