Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
