She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
