What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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