allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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