Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
