I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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