Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
