I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Houston, we have a blender
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
