white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
