He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
