This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
