the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
