Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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