Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have already put on my inside pants.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
