# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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