Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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