My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize