glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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