is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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