its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
