ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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