I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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