I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he shaved USA in his pubs
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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