sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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