Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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