10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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