are you so shy because you have an std?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
