he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
