dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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