Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
