I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize