I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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