His pubic hair was longer than his dick
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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