I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
