check it out our google latitudes are spooning
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
