we're blogging at a bar
4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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