Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
