Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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