This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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