I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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