I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
