Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
