i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
